Independence

The morning started with several messaging alerts on my mobile, wishing me Independence day today and the day started with this provoking thought what an independence is all about ? Am I AZAAD in true sense or the Constitution of this country says so , therefore I must say I am an Independent Indian !!                                                                                                                       

                                                                                                                                                                   

Driving back from Manaa's school, I saw same tired faces on the streets and market, same waiting in queue at railway crossing, nearby tea-stall owner was as usual shouting at little poor child labours to attend the customer standing with a bike, his co-owner was lighting "DIA and Agarbatti" in a small corner where he set-up his "god" and was offering flowers. Mechanical those kids serving steel glasses filled with filthy water, holding several glasses with their fingers in to this seemingly arrogant customer who placed the order. I observed that few Plastic TRICOLOURs were inserted here and there on his table alongside the chocolate jars. Didn't find anything new I moved on, kids rushing to their schools, vegetable vendor ladies arranging their handcarts as usual, Ah this is unusual for sure , the sight of Policemen !!! so early in the morning ,in their polished shoes, ironed uniform, shaved faces and with carrying their trademark BELLY ! Nothing seem to be new, back home on TV, the sight of politicians and leaders and who's who of the keepers of the so called democracy grabbing the opportunity to appear on the screen. On TV too, saw boring faces of the kids, waiting to go back to their schools only to get few biscuits, so called guests of honour half in their sleep while these mike loving Netas give their endless, meaningless, purposeless speeches ! And that's how, somehow this celebrations end, student go home to enjoy rest of their holiday. No one really knows what, why , for whom, all these celebrations for !! I am not against celebrating I-day, I used to wait for it in my school days but today not many students find it interesting enough to go there at school when they reach in their teens.                                                                                                                           

                                                                                                                                                                             

I-day could not be the day for introspection ?? Are we Independents ? Aren't we still tied with the shackles of so many pre-conceived notions ? Are we not the prisoners of thoughts, belief, profession, success, wealth, health, relationships. Perhaps we all are at some stage and some point of time prisoners of LIFE itself.  I want be independent of the thought that makes me weak, I want to be independent from those compelling urges of mind, body and soul with my actions and reactions. I wish, I hope with each passing day of life, I walk through the tunnels of my entire being and be able to find each darkest and deepest turns. If I get close to my real self I know I might reach the independence in true sense.                                                                                                                                     

                                                                                                                                                                    

Wish all my friends and loved ones Happy Independence day with a hope that they all find their definitions of real independence and live for it. - Good Night.                                                                                                                                               

Why its called Kan's Abyss

Very much like this first blog, my very first heat beat, my very first breath, my very first love almost like every other OKHAIs ( people born at OKHA, a small port town on the tip of Gujarat, Western India) is and will have to be the ocean, the sea. That lovely blue endless horizon that my infant eyes must have seen for the first time, long 39 years back when I was born in a small government hospital just few meters away from that roaring sea in the middle of the June night, has expanded with my wisdom and age. It's that fascinating horizon in my dreaming, innocent eyes stretched from my room's window, now encircles the whole world. It wondered me in my childhood and used sandy beach to search colourful sea shells, the KODIs, ( not PHOOTY KODI of Hindi but unbroken ones), It thrilled me in teens while getting wet with each roaring wave, It provoked me, fascinated me, in youth with its sheer arrogance which I inculcated the most then and with traces still within, it accompanied me till mid nights on moonlit nights when I just want to be in silence, It listened all my outbursts, my complaints, my impractical, dark and bright dreams almost in silences in the ebb tides of day, or night or summer afternoons. Those golden waves of the morning and the saffron skies over hanging the farthest most Small dwindling fishing boat carrying fishes and hopes for those black, shirtless, kids in disheveled hairs of those fishermen.

Mesmerizing ! Awesome and wonderful windy and cold winter nights that I spent on the surface of the swells of waves and on the sandy beach with friends both at my town and during my profession at Bediport, Jamnagar smoking for fun, and having a Heineken beer !

It took me places, prompted me a different world to choose my early profession, I still can't believe at times when I open my eyes in the morning to find out myself hundreds of kilometers away from that first love of my life and as if my own identity is blurred with the dirt of time overlapping my past.

At times silent, at times roaring, at times devastating, at times calm, at times furious, most of the time busy the ocean, the sea of my love is. One of my favourite and highly respected author Chandrakant bakshi once wrote that "oceans are monotonous, rivers are not" - I don't think so. Each morning I have seen the the glory of the ocean in tandem with the glory of the rising sun, for the ocean there is no monotony, each passing day every shores are different, people coming to shores are different, each day they treat sea is different.

I could write pages and pages for it but as the tide changes it stops roaring at the coast, but deep down it remains mystical and always unfathomable and therefore I have fallen in love with it and therefore , this is going to be my world here on this blog resembling the Abyss of the ocean - that unfathomable depth with mystical world deep down in... WELCOME ALL - HERE IS KAN'S ABYSS